Never, never, never quit

When Louise informed me of the tentative election results, my initial reaction wasn’t shock – it was more of numbness and it was a strange feeling must I say. I kept denying the fact that this could be the end of my dream. Then came the moment I realized it was pain I have inside – I would’ve cried in front of the class have I not controlled myself. I tried to act normal, not ‘cause of feelings of shame over what just happened (after all, it’s gonna be out in the open), but because I am not yet ready for the huge wave of sympathy coming my way. It’s going to make the pain worse, or so I thought.

To get away from everybody, I turned my mobile off, stopped tweeting, and locked myself in a room together with my laptop and Social Psychology book. I decided to study. But in the middle of reviewing, I cried. It was undeniably hard to keep myself focused with other things when all I want to do is spend the night shedding tears, or somnolently detaching. I reached for the nearest uplifting book: the Bible. I looked for a verse that, in a way, I can consider as God’s answer to my prayers. After quite plenty of pages turned, my eyes got tired. Perhaps, it’s the really, really small font that made my visual system retreat from its search, or maybe God wants me to find the answer within myself. I lit up a candle and took a moment to reflect -- the process was too long I almost fell asleep, but in the end, it served its purpose. When done, I was able to collect the pieces of my heart that was shattered. And that’s when I found my inner strength: my faith.

I realized that I shouldn’t give up, I shall believe. There will always be humps that will shake up my life, but I’m for sure God will always be there come the time I stumble and fall. After all, I took in mind what I learned from past heartaches: life is no smooth-sailing; there will always be hurdles to cross, roadblocks to conquer, and setbacks from which to recover. Before anyone gets the chance to victory, they must first learn the art of losing, and find the beauty in it. I know I have two options: to stay at this low point I am right now, or pick myself up, dust off my knees, and continue fighting. I will stand up and take the entire experience as part of my growth as a person. Cliché as it sounds, but a [hopefully] bigger door is still being made, and soon enough, it will be open for me. For the meantime, I’ll stick to my belief, that He always has his reasons for putting us in difficult situations. And these bumps? These actually make the journey to success even more interesting, because it sharpens us through learning.

To end this entry, I will borrow a four-word quote by Winston Churchill: NEVER, NEVER, NEVER QUIT. The fight isn’t over, let’s keep going, shall we?

 

Reflection Paper: A Beautiful Mind

 

A Beautiful Mind is a movie about John Forbes Nash Jr. who is notable for his contributions in Economics and Mathematics. It was evident in the film that he has an outstanding talent and showed it by performing at a remarkably high level of accomplishment. In Howard Gardner's theory of multiple intelligences, it was distinct that his intelligence is more on a logical-mathematical side for he has the capacity to distinguish numerical or logical patterns, and also the ability to reason out. With a superior intelligence quotient, I can say that Nash is truly a brilliant man.

Despite the fact he is a genius, everything still wasn't perfect -- he's suffering from a mental illness called schizophrenia without his awareness. While he has a beyond average aptitude in logical and mathematical aspects, he had problems with his interpersonal relationships. This affliction slowly eats up his mind, destroying his bond with the people around him. With this illness, he wasn't able to separate the imaginary world from the real world he is living in, with all the hallucinations and nonexistent friends he has. I strongly believe that these delusions are from the feelings and memories he repressed in his subconscious that liberates in the form of imaginary friends and such. Lucky for him that he has a patient and understanding wife, because if it wasn't for her love and support, he wouldn't be able to get through one of the hardest trials in his life. Although she nearly lost her faith, Alicia didn't give up the hope that Nash will someday overcome his disease. This quality of Alicia is something I admired: standing by and staying commited to the person she loves the most.

Granted all the struggles, Nash didn't give up the passion to learn and share his learnings as well. He came out on top of this illness by declining therapy, living a normal life with Alicia and his child, and also by persisting in educating eager young minds.

After watching this film, I am in heaps of awe with the way Nash conquered everything that stood in the way for achieving his dreams. I guess, the learning we can take from his story is that we should see our disabilities not as hindrances; rather, as challenges to make us strive for more. There may be times that we trip a little, we may even fall, but we must stand up and continue walking towards fulfilling our goals.

I am so tired of school work, of reviewing for exams, of the endless nights, of drinking coffee, and of not getting any (decent) sleep — on a positive note, they keep me occupied during idle moments, taking my mind off-heart rending thoughts. Hard to handle and stressing they may be, I owe it all to them for keeping me sane, reminding me to hold on and keep fighting. There are so many better things worth my time..








.. not just him.