Never, never, never quit

When Louise informed me of the tentative election results, my initial reaction wasn’t shock – it was more of numbness and it was a strange feeling must I say. I kept denying the fact that this could be the end of my dream. Then came the moment I realized it was pain I have inside – I would’ve cried in front of the class have I not controlled myself. I tried to act normal, not ‘cause of feelings of shame over what just happened (after all, it’s gonna be out in the open), but because I am not yet ready for the huge wave of sympathy coming my way. It’s going to make the pain worse, or so I thought.

To get away from everybody, I turned my mobile off, stopped tweeting, and locked myself in a room together with my laptop and Social Psychology book. I decided to study. But in the middle of reviewing, I cried. It was undeniably hard to keep myself focused with other things when all I want to do is spend the night shedding tears, or somnolently detaching. I reached for the nearest uplifting book: the Bible. I looked for a verse that, in a way, I can consider as God’s answer to my prayers. After quite plenty of pages turned, my eyes got tired. Perhaps, it’s the really, really small font that made my visual system retreat from its search, or maybe God wants me to find the answer within myself. I lit up a candle and took a moment to reflect -- the process was too long I almost fell asleep, but in the end, it served its purpose. When done, I was able to collect the pieces of my heart that was shattered. And that’s when I found my inner strength: my faith.

I realized that I shouldn’t give up, I shall believe. There will always be humps that will shake up my life, but I’m for sure God will always be there come the time I stumble and fall. After all, I took in mind what I learned from past heartaches: life is no smooth-sailing; there will always be hurdles to cross, roadblocks to conquer, and setbacks from which to recover. Before anyone gets the chance to victory, they must first learn the art of losing, and find the beauty in it. I know I have two options: to stay at this low point I am right now, or pick myself up, dust off my knees, and continue fighting. I will stand up and take the entire experience as part of my growth as a person. Cliché as it sounds, but a [hopefully] bigger door is still being made, and soon enough, it will be open for me. For the meantime, I’ll stick to my belief, that He always has his reasons for putting us in difficult situations. And these bumps? These actually make the journey to success even more interesting, because it sharpens us through learning.

To end this entry, I will borrow a four-word quote by Winston Churchill: NEVER, NEVER, NEVER QUIT. The fight isn’t over, let’s keep going, shall we?